The Brain Is Mightier Than The Heart

If you enjoy the below writing tune in on August 14th at Dating Kinky where they will be having a discussion on sapiosexuality. I for sure will be there!

What Is Love?

Love. What a wonderful thing love is. It comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and configurations. With the diversity of love it is hard to say anything about it but if we narrow it down we can unlock some interesting truths. So what love are we talking about here? Romantic love. The kind of love that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with another and then some. The kind of love built on partnership and respect that has lust and desire baked in. This is the love we are talking about

Romantic love is logical, yeah I said it. I hate when people say “you love without reason” or “love doesn’t make sense.” Bullshit. Love makes perfect sense and there are a plethora of reasons why one person loves another and it makes sense if you think about it. All it takes is you to be honest about your subjective experience being around the other person. If they make you feel appreciated, or like you should strive to do better, or just that you’re safe and at home with them, that is a reason you love them. And this doesn’t even go into attraction, shared interests, cultural expectations, and personality traits. If you think about it, you can find the reasons you have loved.

IF You Think About It

That is what is critical to this conversation. It is a very big IF for sure as most people don’t ever honestly think for themselves. I believe there is a pyramid like spread of real critical thinking among people. Most people are basically sheep and are conformists, following their crowd and their team where ever it leads. These people are herd animals and at the bottom of the spectrum. From what I’ve read on bees they might even be less than these insects. Next up the pyramid is the mavericks. These are individuals who see the crowd going one way and they buck the trend and go the other way. These people are less like herd beasts and more like predators searching for their opportunity to rebel and get their kill. However, these people also never think for themselves. They see the wind blowing the one way and run to the other. They are just as reactionary as the hordes of mouth breathers and they can be just as wrong. Whether everyone agrees with you, or no one does, it has no impact on the truth. The earth orbits the sun, that is true today when nearly everyone believes that and it was true when the church was prosecuting this fact as blasphemy. The mavericks are only better than the sheep because they at least take a second to know something isn’t right and so they act out. This classification has nothing to do with politics. A conformist in San Francisco will liberal and the rebels are the gun-loving conservatives. In Alabama its the reverse. Grouping people into conformists and mavericks helps explain a lot more things about our unified sociology than looking at specific politics.

To be sure, this is over simplified completely. Everyone is deserving of love and respect and basic humanity regardless of if they conform or rebel. We all have both in our families and both within ourselves. Next time you immediately accept or reject a headline without reading the full article, you are showing your bias. It’s natural to do and there is so much information in this world you can’t blame anyone for picking a world view and sticking with it. Deconstructing it is difficult and not everyone can or should do it because we are not all experts. But this leads me to our peak of the pyramid and what I really wanted to talk about, sapiosexuality.

The Enlightened

The enlightened are the final group and they are the people who stop for a second as the crowd is running and rather than go with the crowd or buck it, they ask why. This act is what critical thinking is based on. It is what Socrates spoke about (or at least Plato says Socrates spoke about) and it is the basis of all science and inquiry. There is a science to everything just like there is an art to everything. The science is the facts and cold hard analytics of any given situation and the art is how those facts fuse in reality to make something beautiful. What is beauty? Well that has been the argument since before we even started writing down the argument. The enlightened people do not pick one side or the other for such deep questions until they weigh the pros and cons of each side. Aristotle said “the sign of an intelligent man is one who can entertain an idea without accepting it” and this is one of the most beautiful things ever written. This, to me, is what sapiosexuality is built on and this is what I believe really separates us from the beasts.

Sidenote: Anyone can be enlightened or a rebel or a conformist all in the same day. Like everything with humans, it is extremely complex and there are probably people far smarter than me that could dissect much of what I say. I welcome that and always appreciate any feedback and corrections. I am simply a layman trying to talk about what is in my head so this is not intended to offend anyone. This is how my mind and my attraction works and you are always free to agree or disagree with any spectrums I come up with.


Sapiosexuality: One who finds the content’s of someone else’s mind to be their most attractive attribute, above and before their physical characteristics. This is the definition I get from Urban Dictionary and its my favorite. Before anything physical, I always see whats in a woman’s mind first. A woman can become more or less attractive to me just in conversation depending on what they say. Just to be blunt, the dumber she is, the more I see her flaws, the smarter she is, the more I feel myself drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

I do not have a physical type. I love thick blonde woman who has a cute laugh and smile, but it doesn’t have to be that. I have dated thick, skinny, athletic, tall, short, blonde, asian, black, latina, and honestly I would date a girl with purple polkadots if she was the right woman. Physically, I have my male radar I won’t deny that. I am always looking for something unique on a woman, most often it is her smile or eyes but I love good hair on a woman. Also I cant look away from a voluptuous booty, it sends my lizard brain wild.

Other than the ass, all my other physical attractions are actually based on my sapiosexuality. I love eyes because they are truly windows into your soul. Humans are one of the few animals who have whites of our eyes and this is specifically for communication purposes. Researchers have found this to be true by comparing dogs eyes to wolves and seeing how dogs can respond just to our gaze which the whites allow you to detect. The gaze, and the beautiful spectrum of eye color that we humans have since we inhabit every continent and climate, of my lover is something that draws me in through conversation and intimacy. The smile is what I always want to put on my woman’s face. I want to always make her smile and laugh and its less how her smile and laugh but when she laughs and at what things. Being able to share humor with my partner is very important and no matter how intellectually deep I get staring into her eyes talking about the archeology of ice age, I find the electricity in my chest shoot through my fingertips when I hear her joke about how a sabertooth cat’s would make a great dildo if you smooth it out. Even a woman’s hair says so much more about who she is than just looking pretty. The soft change in color, the light bounce as she walks away, the healthy oils glistening off of her radiant mane, these all point to her taking time and pride in her hair which is an extension of herself. The Sikhs have an idea that your hair is sacred because god gave it to us to grow and almost no other animals have “too much” hair. You wouldn’t shave a lion’s mane and if you did it would be more open to neck bites from rivals. While I cut my hair I do find beauty in this sentiment and seeing a woman take time and pride in her hair is an art form in and of itself I find magnificent.

If you read this and you feel a connection to my words you are probably a sapiosexual yourself. The appreciation of the mind over the physical is inherent in all of us but actually analyzing this fact is what separates the enlightened sapiosexual from the rest. I have friends that are far right and far left, I find my best conversations politically and intellectually are with those who hate both candidates and so do not feel any loyalty to their side. The people that idolize and fetishize their candidates, or worse their party, into a cult of hero worship never have anything more to say than you can get on TV news in between commercials for hair loss and diabetes prescriptions. These people are either conformists or rebels which are probably linked to some mommy or daddy issues. Can you tell I am not an expert on this stuff? This is apparent not just in politics but on any intellectual endeavor that is not yet settled. These are the conversations I love with the intellectual. Whether it is history or politics or religion or sex or science I want to talk about all the taboo stuff you’re told not to talk about. These hard conversations and deep questions from the trolley problem to if people really see the same color as anyone else to what turns you on and why is what I want to talk about with my partner. Anyone who gets board with any of these topics or can’t engage lacks the intellectual rigor I find so attractive.

Why do I find this intellectuality so attractive? It is all we have. The thoughts we have are the only thing apart from the meat that makes us up. When I am in a deep discussion with a woman and we get into topics of history, then we make dark jokes, then she makes an interesting point, I can find no separation between that and her lightly brushing my arm, clicking the lock on my cage, or deep throating a big black cock. All of this is linked for me into one brainstorm thats lightning would shock Thor himself. I become more aroused from conversation than I ever could with just penile stimulation and being a cuckold is directly linked to the intellectual side of me.

The Intellectual Depths of Cuckolding

I find cuckolding so intellectually attractive because it is the ultimate mind fuck. Evolution and society push most men like sheep in one direction of territorial monogamy but I cannot just go with the crowd, I have to ask why. When I do the only reason I get is property rights. Is that really why I want to own my wife and is that a good thing? I think not. I truly believe love is about partnership and that is why I try to use partner so much. Before I want a wife I want a partner for life. Now what is the best way to build a partnership? From looking at history, biology, and psychology it is pretty clear the best way to do that is to elevate my woman. When I truly analyze what I want I realize the feminine spirit can captivate my love and transform my life. Her love changes a light touch into a sensual play. Her love changes a kiss into an emotional flood. Her love changes voyeurism into a hurricane of passion. Her love brings me closer to her through cuckolding. Her love is what makes her admit she isn’t satisfied with 6 inches and take a huge black bull all night, but still call for me once he leaves to hold her through the night and wake up with her in the morning. Not only does her love transform everything I look at in life, but it is also a liberating and empowering experience unique to cuckolding.

What I find so liberating and empowering about cuckolding is that women truly are the superior gender. Fight me. This is so obvious and plain I cannot believe anyone would even dispute this. Not only do women literally MAKE PEOPLE INSIDE OF THEMSELVES and have more DNA for this, but they also have a subjective transformative ability that is the reason men ever got out of the caves. Women’s caring and nurturing spirit is what keeps doughy human babies alive and what allowed us to domesticate everything on this planet from the ferocious wolf to the noble steed and even the grotesque pig, not to mention literally all the plants that have been domesticated. All the research I have seen on paleolithic man suggest that the gathering women contributed much more than the hunting males in terms of calories. How anyone could see throwing a spear farther as superior to all of this makes no sense especially when industrialization has made muscle power all but useless in terms of actually getting work done.

In cuckolding I use my masculine strength not to trap and own my wife so she doesn’t sleep with other men, but as her protector and guardian. I am there to ensure she is always safe physically and emotionally and I keep the castle stable for her arrival under any circumstance. I empower my woman to reach her sexual magnificence and will support her in anyway I can. If that is just holding her after she comes back from an evening with her bull I accept. If that is watching her stretch her womanhood over a big black cock for hours so we can talk about it later I accept. If that is cleaning her up and bringing her to orgasm in my mouth before she rides me and makes me climax in her gaping hole I accept. I accept this because as I have said in many posts, she is my queen.

Instead of trying to reach new heights sexually in a masculine way by climbing to the top of the mast of the ship, I can instead surrender to the ocean of orgasm and let my ship be lifted by her tidal wave of feminine sexuality. The physical acts may be the same in two separate encounters but by putting feminine sexuality first I not only reach new heights, but I have a deep sense of intellectual satisfaction knowing I have done the right thing.

I used to be ashamed of cuckolding but that is because I was ignorant and not looking at it correctly. Once I really gave it an intellectual critique I found myself shrugging off the shame and accepting the noble pursuit of love. I used to feel weak and worthless under this subjugation, but then I learned that in order to be knighted you must first kneel. I learned rising up and donning the armor and taking up the sword was what I was meant to do as a man this world, and I will slay any dragon in noble service to my queen. Call me a romantic but I believe in love and I got here just by thinking about it. I believe love can be shared most intimately by two minds intermingling with each other and no matter if my queen is a young princess or the old Augusta, no matter if she needs a litter to carry her or if I can throw her over my head, I will always find my way back to the depths of her mind.

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