Going Down This Road

Do I really want this? Do I really want to go down this road? This is a question every cuckold really needs to examine and ask themselves to figure out if this lifestyle is right for them. I used to ask myself this quite often before I embraced that I am indeed a cuckold, but I think it would be beneficial to ask again now that I am more mature and that my ideas on cuckolding have evolved.

To start this conversation I will admit I have never had a real cuckolding experience. I have watched girlfriends with other men to be sure but I don’t consider it real because I never had what I think is the most important part of cuckolding present in these experiences, love. When I have had my experiences in the past they have felt more like three ways and I know that is not what I like. There was something about these situations, maybe it was that the women were too submissive or they were too uncomfortable with the other man but much of the time I would see a look on her face that told me she wanted me not the other man. I would join in and to be fair this was fun but the experience fell short. Maybe it was that most of these guys were white too and they didn’t have that BBC energy to really give my woman something I couldn’t. This isn’t what I wanted.

I spent a lot of time after these events trying to figure out of I really wanted this lifestyle. I went on a bit of a journey of sexual exploration. I tried to be a bull, again fun but not for me, and I even tried sucking a cock, not fun, not for me, just no. As I examined my sexual psyche more and more I realized I was a cuckold through and through, but what does that mean?

It means I first and foremost want love. I want a deep connection with my partner so when we talk about history or movies or what happened at the office this week we are both genuinely interested in the other’s perspective. For me this hits my sapiosexual side and when I have deep intellectual conversations, outbursts of laughter and joy, or just vent my frustrations, sharing this with my partner becomes no different than sex. I can be turned on talking about how lions used to own America before the ice age or the way my woman giggles at some very dark humor because for me there is no separation mentally between that and the dirty sexy mind of my partner. Truly getting inside my woman’s head and really appreciating the way she thinks makes the platonic erotic and the intimate enthralling.

Most people want (or at least say they want) something like this. This is just love and companionship and all strong relationships are built on this, but cuckolding relationships have something more. In this type of relationship there is a power imbalance. While I always want my relationships to be a partnership, that doesn’t mean we split everything 50/50. When we eat dinner I might like more pasta she might like more veggies, when we are at home I might do more of the dishes she might do more of the laundry, I could go on at length all the different power imbalances even vanilla couples experience. Cuckolding specifically though is about a sexual power imbalance. It is about the woman having the freedom to satiate herself with any man and me as the cuckold being devoted and loyal to her.

So I ask myself again, do I really want this? Do I really want to be loyal to a woman who is fucking and sucking and hungry for other men much more well hung than me? Hell yeah. The reason I want this seems pretty simple in writing but in my head there is a hurricane of sexuality thinking about this. The main reason is I want my woman to be insatiable. Some men may feel weak or inadequate when they are fucking their woman and she screams for more over and over again, not me. For me I actually want to feed that hunger she feels and the hungrier she is the better she is. Seeing that she is insatiable shows me that she doesn’t ever settle, that she is open to the biggest and the best life has to offer and that she is a strong and confident woman who won’t let societal norms dictate how she will live her life

The insatiability in women speaks to something deep within themselves. God or the universe or whatever has given women access to sides of the sexual spectrum we as men will never know. I see the raw feminine power of her sexuality and I don’t want to own that or tame this wild beast, I want to find out to break down any fence holding her back and run into the wild with her. I do not want to own a woman and keep this soaring eagle in a cage, I want to set her free and build a nest that she is always happy to come back to no matter how close she flies to the son.

Why? Why would I want this? I think this goes to the next pillar of cuckolding (love and insatiability are the first 2 if you’re having trouble keeping up) which is compersion. I am only just learning this word to be honest but it is helpful when discussing cuckolding. Compersion is the vicarious fulfillment one gets from watching another in happiness and bliss. The vicarious aspect is key here. What this means is when I see my woman happy, I am filled with happiness. If I see a picture of her out with her friends drinking and happy, I am happy for her even if I am not there. Sexually it’s the same dynamic but it puts these emotions in overload. When I see a woman getting fucked hard I do not feel the need to bring myself into this situation. I see her taking a big 10 inch cock that is thicker than mine and I am happy she is finding this fulfillment. I could never hold back the raw feminine energy of my woman and if she sees something she wants I want to do everything I can to provide it to her.

I personally see women as the superior gender. I have spoken about this before so I won’t go too deep now. I will say I am for equal rights for everyone, there are not male and female jobs and if someone wants to be involved in cuckqueaning (when a woman is the cuckold in the relationship) that is just as fine as swinging or monogamy or what I do. But, when we get behind those bedroom doors, I see women as above thing else. I am not religious at all but I do see women as divine. Feminine beauty and satisfaction is what I find sacred in my life and I will devote myself completely to serving it.

To do this best I can’t be out galavanting across the town trying to give my 6 inches to as many women as I can. This is a base act that seems unworthy of the divinity of women. Instead I want to devote myself to one woman. I want to be completely loyal so she knows she always has a man and a home ready and waiting for her but she also has the freedom to hunt down any bull that will give her more than I can. This devotion gives me a rush and makes me feel high and it transforms my life. My chores become a battle and the rap music on my headphones turns into a drum beat marching my army off to war. Seeing my woman smile and making her giggle brings me to victory and the opposite feels like a spear through my chest in defeat. When this devotions becomes sexual it can make me fee like I am conquering the world when I truly leave her satisfied, and when I cannot satisfy her my chest physically hurts and I feel inadequate.

As a man I find it pathetic if I were to tell my wife she needs to be satisfied with 6 inches for the rest of her life. This to me seems to be the mark of a man who wants to own his wife rather than share his life with hers. This shows extreme insecurity and a desire to limit your wife so she doesn’t see how good anyone is. This is taking the eagle and clipping its wings and shoving it in a cage. To truly appreciate your woman would be to not just give her the freedom to try other things but support it. Don’t just open the cage but bring the eagle to its natural habitat and let it soar above the mountains and building a nest for it to come home to if it desires, and once you get the return, the reconnection, thats when you know its true.

That is the true love of a cuckold and what I truly want out of a relationship. I want a life filled with devotion to my woman’s majestic flight. I want to see her soar as close to the sun as she wishes and if her wings start to melt I will be there to catch her so the decent isn’t crashing into the sea but a soft fall into a warm ocean of bliss. To me, this is the most true expression of love because, cuckolding IS love.


  1. I have been a cuckold, sometimes knowingly and sometimes not. I was born male and identify as male but I have also known since I was a small child that I am transgender, though it wasn’t until I was an adult that I had the language to properly describe myself thusly. Since my first sexual experiences, wet dreams, I have almost exclusively only been able to get off by imagining myself a girl or a woman having sex with a man. Despite this, I have always been attracted to women and have never had a sexual experience with a man.
    I was attracted to cuckoldry because it allowed me, through my partner’s descriptions, to share in her sexual experiences and thus, through my imagination, make them somewhat my own.
    All of this has been in addition to what you describe in your blog of getting aroused by your partner’s sexual freedom.
    I have wondered if, perhaps, the Venn Diagram of cuckolds and trans women, out or not, is really a circle. Your thoughts?


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