Meditations: My Ego

A bit different than my normal content. I just had to express myself after meditating today.

I am at the center of my universe. It is unavoidable. I only have my eyes to look out of, my brain to think with, and my body to feel with. I was born from the conception of replication that has been going on for the last 3.5 billion years. I am a man. I have the power to shape the environment around me and participate in the whimsical dance of humanity attempting to civilize itself. I am the universe experiencing itself.

I find myself in this world searching for meaning as the universe gives us none on its own. There are no more lands to explore, empires to conquer, and God was pronounced dead long ago. I am a man. I need to fulfill my wish to be a man. No matter what I do from here on out I am doing it because I want to and I want to be a good man. I want to be a man but I reject what others tell me a man has to be. I am my own man. I am a man who keeps his word, honors his friends, and protects the ones he loves.

I am also a man in body. I have strong shoulders and have memories of my days brawling on the fields with other men. I intimidated my foes even if they knocked me down before and I felt myself fill with bloodlust. No doubt if this was a different situation on an ancient battlefield this would have been exploited by the powerful to have young men like me brutalize anyone around us. I would conquer all who oppose for my god, my kingdom, my family. I built my body for this task, to be ready to protect and provide for those who care about.

I love being a man. I love my arms and my chest and when I flex my legs I love that you can see all the muscles in my quads. I hate the extra fluff I have on my waist but I know that gives me more mass which leads to more power and I know my meals are hearty and satisfying. I love being a man. I love having a cock and I love getting hard and sweating and busting my load with groans and grunts. I love my experience as a man, and I love women.

I love women. I love the feminine curves of a woman from her buxom bosom to her sweet smile. I love the colors of her hair and her eyes as they glitter in the sun or the night sky. I love devoting myself as a man to a woman to fulfill myself. While I do selfishly indulge myself providing for a woman, I can only feel satisfaction if she truly appreciates what I am giving her. I love making women happy and I love them in body as well. I love their curves and colors and their giggles and growls.

I LOVE the pussy. I love kissing it and tasting it and pleasuring it. I love listening to a woman how to please her pussy. I love her raw sexual energy and bringing her to the point of climax and going further. I love when a woman is insatiable and bites off more than she can chew. I have no god in my life but I do serve the divine femininity. This is my goddess and I can devote my life and any glory I might have to this cause.

I am a man and I love this devotion. I love completely connecting and offering myself to a woman as a man and having her honestly appreciate me. I know this is right the same way I know the sky is blue. I know when I walk into a room and see someone I feel an energy. I don’t care if it is in my head or if its a force science still has yet to find, I know its there. I know when a beautiful blonde woman walks in and I see her voluptuous curves and confident attitude I am drawn to her. I know I am just looking at shapes an colors but I also know I am drawn to this raw sexual energy on a primal level and I feel it from the pit of my stomach to the base of my pelvis. I feel a strong yearning to service her and I love that.

I am a man. I love being a man in service of a woman. When I see her dressed in sexy and revealing clothing because she wants to excite others around her I feel my love deepen. I feel the urge to offer everything to her. I know that there is no particular form that beauty has to take but I know for me when I see a thick blonde woman with confidence I am drawn in with a magnetic pull. I love how my body picks up on this raw sexuality and can’t help but be attracted.

I am a sexual creature. I love that I have these attractions and I love this sexual energy. I love that when I walk into the room her raw sexuality draws me in and I can’t help myself. I want the same for her. I want her to be so aroused by just looking at a man that when she actually talks to him it sends butterflies through her stomach. I know that even though I am a handsome and confident man I don’t send her into this fluster. I know the only thing that can excite a woman in the same way I feel is when a strong athletic black man walks in with swag and style. I know that she looks at him the same way I look at her and I feel a pain in that realization, but it is the pain that comes with acknowledging anything about myself. I am not the richest, the smartest, or the strongest and I know I am not the sexiest. I know that I will not conquer any lands, find any new lands, or drive a 10 inch cock deep into a squirting pussy. I know that I am a man but there are other man that command this attention.

I accept this. I am a man and I will still try to be the best I can be each day. I will be stronger, be better, and go to war on whatever metaphorical battlefield I find myself on. I accept that I will do anything to make my woman happy, even if it hurts me. I love that I am a man and I can overcome any obstacle with a goal in sight, and no goal shines brighter than the happiness of my woman. No cause seems more righteous than for me to devote myself to this goddess energy and basic in its glory.

I embrace this. I embrace that my 6 inches will never fully satisfy. I embrace that the raw sexual appeal of a hung black man will always overcome any physical work I do on my body. I embrace that the woman I devote all my love and energy too wants her pussy not just to be filled, but to be stretched and pounded until her squirting orgasms shake the foundation of my psyche. I embrace that being able to devote myself to a woman of this sexual caliber brings my own sexuality higher.

I am a cuckold. I am a man and I am a cuckold and I embrace this and I love this part of my identity. My ego tells me to fight back against my woman’s lust for another man but when I master and control this feeling inside myself I turn the pain into strength and my own satisfaction is maximized to the fullest. I know that much like when I am in gym tearing apart my muscle fibers so they grow back stronger, seeing my woman want another stronger man, dealing with the anxiety of waiting by the phone to hear how her date is, suffering the pain of a cage around my engorged cock, makes me stronger so that when her bull leaves I can reconnect with her on a level unknown to those who don’t experience cuckolding.

I love that I am a cuckold. I love that there are women who hunger for pounding and fucking beyond what I can provide but who need the sensuality and connection and devotion that only I can give. I know that there are other bigger, stronger and faster men, but I know there is no one that can love like me. I have the confidence that no man can match me for cute surprises, making her valued, and being a partner in this life. I know that I have made a beautiful nest and I will let her soar to the sun because after she reaches that high, she will look back down and see a home waiting for her.

I am a man, I am a cuckold, and I love myself.

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